Memories
by mabelreid
Summary: Sequel to New Beginnings.  Reid and JJ recall memories of their relationship and make more as she prepares to move onto the Pentagon.
1. The First Date

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n because so many of you asked, here's a sequel to New Beginnings. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, it depends on the muse as always. _**

**_The First Date _**

JJ carried a steaming mug of coffee into her living room. Spence lay fully stretched out on her huge sectional couch, his legs crossed at the ankles. She smirked at his mismatched socks, which he wore with almost religious devotion.

"Hey…" She put his coffee down on the glass and steel coffee table.

He opened eyes that always reminded her of warm melted chocolate. "Hi," He said with a huge yawn.

"I brought you some coffee, but you should sleep instead."

"I was kind of dozing." He admitted swinging his body around into a sitting position. He took the coffee and sipped at it as JJ curled up on the couch next to him.

"We've got to work in the morning." JJ reminded him. "It's my last day."

"Don't remind me." Spencer said bitterly.

She wrapped her arms around his right arm and laid her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to go baby. You _know_ that. I love working with you." She reminded him.

He set his coffee cup down on the end table that held a lamp with a creamy silk shade. "I wish there were some way to fix it." He pulled away from her and stood up to pace as he always did when agitated.

"Spence I don't know what to -"

He stopped in front of her, so close the heat of his distress washed over her like the incoming tides. "I'm not mad at you." He said softly

He reached out a hand and stroked her cheek with two fingers. She shivered under the ministrations of his soft, smooth, talented fingers. "What's wrong?" She asked gently.

He moved away from her again going to the gas fireplace at the north end of the room. He leaned on one hand against the ebony stone tiles that surrounded the insert. "I 'm mad at myself." He finally admitted not looking at her.

She inhaled slowly because it suddenly made sense, his growing tension with the team as she'd told the story of their romance to them. "Why?" She said as lightly as she could.

He turned back to her slumped over with the weight of the world on his thin shoulders. "I know I should be happy for you. It's a huge promotion for you, but I want things to stay the way they are."

She made herself hold still and listen. He'd get to the heart of what was really bothering him in his own time.

"I'm mad at myself because if you could stay we'd have to hide so I'm glad you're leaving. I love you and I want everyone to know."

She stood up and went to him putting her arms around his neck. "Don't you think I feel the same way? We're finally free of all the secrets and hiding, but it's because I have to leave. I don't know how I feel about it.

"Really?" He asked hopefully, pulling her in close.

"Yes…"

She stood up on her toes and melded her mouth to his lips. He responded instantly, opening his mouth so that her tongue could swipe at the top of his mouth. He groaned into her mouth and pulled her off her feet.

The hard bulge in his slacks that hadn't been there a minute ago pushed into her belly. She pulled away from his mouth with a pop and grinned at him. "You love it when I do that." She stated.

He turned an adorable shade of pink as he set her on her feet. "You know I do." He whispered huskily.

"I thought you were sleepy." She asked as he bent his head to nibble along the length of her neck.

He didn't answer her except to skin his teeth over her collarbone. Sweat popped out on her hands and she went wet at the touch of his fingers on the skin of her belly. Somehow, his fingers had pulled her light blue blouse from her navy blue pencil skirt without her notice.

He picked her up again and set her down on the hard slate tile hearth of the fireplace. His mouth continued to suck on her collarbone as he hit the on button for the fireplace. It whooshed on, she jumped in surprise as the yellow, and orange flames began to dance over the glass beads in the bottom of the insert.

She noticed that Spencer had stopped kissing her or touching her. He stood over her so that her face was inches from the bulge in his pants. She smiled and licked her lips.

"JJ…" He warned.

She reached up, undid his pants and pushed them, with the dark blue boxers he wore, to the floor, freeing his straining erection from its confinement.

"JJ please," He begged, "I want -"

She leaned forward and licked the underside of his penis to the head. "JJ…" He put his hands on the tile over her head.

"Shh…"

She swirled her tongue around the tip of his erection and he gasped, going still as a statue. "Oh God…" He breathed as the heat from the gas stove began filling the room.

She swallowed him down, humming gently in the back of her throat while her hand stroked and squeezed his testicles.

"Oh…."

She looked up as he groaned loudly his eyes closed, sweat building up on his forehead. His Adam's apple bobbed erratically as his hips began trusting toward JJ.

"Please baby…" He gasped. "I want to be inside you."

She let him slide out of her mouth. Her hips thrust up in anticipation as he knelt in front of her and unbuttoned her shirt.

"Your knee…" She asked.

"I'm fine," he assured her.

She lifted her backside off the hearth so he could pull off her panties. He smiled at the wet fabric that revealed her arousal. "Someone is very eager." He laughed.

"You should talk." She gasped as he pulled off her skirt, leaving her naked, but for her black lace bra.

The tiles were hard beneath her naked backside, but she hardly noticed while her hand pulled at his shirt. He opened her front clasp bra and pushed it off her shoulders. She cried out as his mouth found one of her breasts. He laved the hard point of her nipple with his tongue while her hands freed him from his shirt.

His long, lean and beautiful body showed in the low light of the fire that dance shadows over the walls. She jumped again when thunder suddenly cracked and rain poured down as though ever water tap in heaven had been turned on at the same time.

Spencer once again moved, this time bringing his knees up on the hearth. He pulled her close entering her at an odd angle that had her gasping. His hips thrust forward as his mouth moved to her unattended breast. He bit the nipple and she cried out his name. The room felt like noon on a hot summer day as thunder crashed and lightning lit up the room at regular intervals. The rain, so loud on the windows, almost drowned out her cries as he moved inside her.

She bit down on his shoulder and raked her nails across his back as the motion of his thrusts increased. He pulled her up off the tiles and slammed into her body, grunting and moaning out her name. She took the edge of his ear in her mouth and bit down. He immediately climaxed, pumping into her until the last of his seed pooled into her. She cried out clenching around him for an eternity of seconds. Finally, he slipped out of her. She dropped back to the hearth with a sigh, not able to move. She stayed sitting there with her legs splayed open, trying to get her breath back as he hovered over her with his hands on the wall for support.

"Wow…" He stood up wincing a bit at the pain in his knee.

"Damn it Spence, I told you to be careful."

She stood up swaying like a tree in a hurricane ignoring her protests. He followed her to the couch and the blanket slung over the back. He lay down and she crawled on top of him. He covered them and began stroking her hair.

"Don't try to get on my good side." She warned angrily. "Why did you do that?"

"I was thinking about five years ago." He said, surprising her out of her wrath.

"Oh…"

He smirked at her. "Thanks for not telling them that part of the story honey."

"I promised you I wouldn't then and I mean it now." She clutched him tighter, able to enjoy the tingling in her sweet spot now that she knew he was okay.

"Do you think Gideon knew what would happen when he encouraged me to ask you out?"

She laughed. "I hope not."

"I was so freaked out that day. I wanted to impress you so badly. I had such a crush on you I couldn't think straight." He admitted rubbing a hand along her back.

"I just wanted to go to the game. I was so happy when they won that it clouded my judgment."

"Hey," he protested.

"You know what I mean Spence. I liked you as a friend even if you were very odd and awkward most of the time."

"And annoying with all my statistics and oddball facts," he said burying his face in her hair so he could smell the vanilla scent of her shampoo.

"I didn't really know you then." She said. "Still, I was surprised when you agreed to come inside when I invited you in."

"You'd just moved in here." He remembered. "You hadn't unpacked yet, but I could see how happy you were to have your own home." He smiled at the remembrance.

"I remember convincing you to have a beer with me." She put her hands on his chest clasped together so her chin could rest there.

"I remember that I was incapable of speaking to you except about the game and football in general."

"I still feel badly." She said honestly, her blue eyes going nearly black with guilt.

"You don't have anything to be embarrassed about it JJ. I was in deep puppy dog love with you. I would've done anything to make you feel the same way. I thought that when you kissed me that night, it was what you wanted. I was so happy."

"You'd also had three beers by that time and I was high on the Redskin's winning. I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry I said such hurtful things to you the next morning."

He held her tight to his chest as though she might get up and leave. "I was angry, but I knew I couldn't take it out on you because we had to work together, but for a long time I didn't like you very much." He admitted.

"I'm glad. I was an inconsiderate and selfish bitch. I should've known -"

He stopped her with a hand on her mouth. "You should have known what, that I'd never been with a girl. You didn't know because I didn't say anything. It was my fault. I thought if I faked it you wouldn't know, then I lost control and well, you know what happened next."

"I should have been more understanding."

"JJ… It was five years ago. Why are you castigating yourself over this now?" His fingers stroked her bare shoulders as he spoke.

"I don't know Spence. I guess talking about our secret to the team brought it back." She kissed him lightly. "I'm sorry." She said.

"Why?" The genuine confusion in his eyes made her stomach churn.

"I never apologized to you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

"It's okay JJ. I'm totally fine. I promise you." He crossed his heart like a child on the playground.

She watched his eyes and saw that he told the truth. She giggled. "At least we have a great memory in here to make up for five years ago."

He blushed, which made her laugh even harder. "Why don't we go to bed?" He slapped her backside.

She looked over at the clock as it struck midnight to the crash of thunder outside. "I don't want to move. If we go to sleep that means tomorrow will be here before we know it and it'll be my last day."

Tears welled up in her cobalt blue eyes and spilled over on her cheeks. "It'll be okay." He whispered. "We'll see each other every morning and night, as long as I don't have a case out of town. It'll have to be enough."

She got up pulling the blanket with her and went to gather their clothes. He smirked when her back was turned to him. He had a surprise for her, which he hoped would mitigate the pain of her leaving, that he'd give her in the morning. In the mean time, sleep sounded like a great idea.


	2. The Right Question, The Wrong Time

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_The Right Question, The Wrong Time_**

When JJ left the bathroom early the next morning, Spence still slept despite her rather loud, beeping alarm. She'd come to find out that he could sleep through just about anything. At least the nightmares he'd suffered from when they'd first begun living together were all but gone. In fact, waking him up to the reality of this morning seemed like cruelty on the same level as hitting a small puppy.

She looked over at the alarm clock on her night table to the right of their king sized bed and sighed. They would be late if she didn't wake him. She reached down and shook his shoulder. "Spence… You're going to be late."

He flipped toward her groaning in his sleep. "Five minutes." He mumbled.

"No… You said that twenty minutes ago."

He opened one beautiful eye and stared up at her irritably. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "Get up Spence…"

"If I stay here then you can't go." He said illogically.

"Babe, please don't make this harder than it is." She sat down on the edge of the bed.

He turned to his back and stretched his arms over his head. "Alright, I'll get up and get this over with. You do know this is going to be the longest and shortest day of our lives."

JJ giggled. "You sound like that guy on the soap opera."

He glared at her. "Not funny."

She reached over and skimmed her fingers through his short hair. "I've got about half a day's work left on my desk and then I have to pack up my stuff. Why don't you help me and we'll try to get out of there a couple of hours early. We'll go have dinner."

"I think that's a great idea. Let's just hope that Hotch doesn't pull us away for a case. I can't bear to leave you right now."

"We won't worry about that now." She promised.

He sat up and kissed her. "You look beautiful as always."

The heat in his eyes had her standing up and moving for the door. "Don't even think about it Spence. We're going to be late."

"I can make it fast. You don't have to do anything." He said hopefully.

"Oh yeah… That's exactly the kind of come on a woman wants at seven in the morning."

He had the decency to blush like a schoolboy caught looking at pornography by his mother. "Sorry…"

"No you're not, but I'll forgive you because you're cute." She said. "Now get up and take a shower. I'm going to make coffee and toast some bagels."

He nodded and climbed out of bed. JJ left and he hurried into the bathroom. He rushed through his morning routine, showering and shaving and getting dressed. He looked carefully around the corner to the kitchen where JJ was getting their breakfast together. She looked busy and distracted so he hurried back to their room and rummaged in the back of their closet. He found what he was looking for under a stack of old sweater vests he didn't wear anymore but hadn't thrown out yet. JJ left them alone because she said it was his responsibility to keep his half of the closet tidy.

When he entered the kitchen, he hoped his face was appropriately solemn for the occasion. Still he couldn't help the smile that crossed his face at seeing her there with a cup of coffee in her hand. Even after three years together, he couldn't believe that someone as beautiful as she could love him so deeply. She'd given up a normal romance because of their jobs, so that they could be together. His heart swelled as it did every time he realized how much she loved him.

"There you are… You'll have to hurry if you want something to eat." She said smiling at him just as she did every morning they had together.

"Sorry… I couldn't find my razor for some reason. It wasn't in the shower. Then I found it in a drawer."

"I put it in the drawer next to the sink because I read online that blades stay sharper if they're not exposed to damp places like the shower."

"That makes sense because the oxidation that happens in wet environment like a shower would speed up the dulling of a blade."

"Spence…"

"Right, I'm eating." He picked up his bagel and began smearing cream cheese over it.

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Morgan was the first to accost them when they entered the bullpen. "So how was your night? You two looked pretty cozy when you left." He grinned.

"Morgan… It's my last day." JJ began. "Can you leave it alone just for once?"

Morgan put his hands up. "Sorry JJ, I can't help myself."

"Morgan's upset by your leaving." Reid informed her. "His humor is an attempt to cover up his feelings."

Morgan glowered at him and JJ smiled. "I think you're right." She agreed.

"Who's right?" Emily asked as she put her bag on her desk.

"Never mind," Morgan said.

Reid ignored him. "Morgan's upset with JJ's leaving. He -"

"What's going on here?"

They all turned to see Hotch, Rossi and Strauss enter the bullpen at the same time from different routes. Rossi smirked at her but she ignored him.

"We're just saying goodbye to JJ ma'am."

Strauss nodded curtly. "Get back to work." She ordered.

"Um ma'am," Reid began ignoring JJ's elbow to his ribs. "I'm glad you're here because I have something to say."

"Reid," Hotch began in a warning tone.

"Don't worry Hotch." Reid said looking at JJ. "I wanted to do this in a more appropriate and romantic setting like all the books says that I read, but I think this is better."

He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and dropped to one knee in front of JJ. "JJ, I love you more than my own life," He began.

"Agent Reid… What are you doing?" Strauss interrupted angrily. "Must I remind you that -"

"I'm sorry ma'am, but it's rude for you to interrupt now. JJ's no longer a member of this team, so frat rules don't apply to us."

"Yes but -"

"She gave you her exit interview day before last." Reid continued. "I'd appreciate if you'd let me finish. This isn't good for my knee."

Rossi and Emily snorted out laughter while JJ and Morgan just stared at him with incredulous eyes.

"JJ," Reid pulled her attention back to him and the ring he had in his hand. "As I was trying to say, I love you and I'd like it very much if you'd marry me."

"Get up off the floor." She ordered taking the box from him.

"Is that a yes?" Rossi said.

"Yes!" She shouted making every head that wasn't already staring at them in the bullpen turn to look at them.

She jumped into his arms and kissed him until Strauss's furious tone interrupted their celebration. "Agent Reid you're on very thin ice."

"Sorry ma'am… I got carried away." He explained as he put the half-carat diamond solitaire ring on JJ's finger. The princess cut stone glittered in the light. It looked just right on her hand, Reid thought.

"I want all of you back to work now." Strauss snapped.

She turned on her heel and stalked out of the bullpen. It was quiet for a shocked moment before everyone in the bullpen cheered except for Hotch and Rossi. Out of nowhere, Garcia was hugging Reid and kissing him on the cheek. He hadn't seen her enter the bullpen but his heart soared that his best friend was there to witness the happiest moment of his life.

Rossi grabbed his hand and shook it hard. "That has to be the funniest thing that's ever happened in this room. I'll never forget the look on her face."

Reid blushed. "I had to do something… She didn't fight for JJ so I decided to bring her down a peg."

"She won't forget this." Hotch spoke up. He didn't look happy but he didn't appear to have any interest in calling Reid out for his behavior. "Congratulations to both of you." He shook their hands in turn.

Garcia pulled JJ away from Reid and led her up to her office. "We have to get started on the wedding." She gushed as Reid swallowed hard and went white. Rossi and Morgan laughed.

"PG…" JJ pushed her friend gently away. "I have to get the last of my work done. I want to get out of here as soon as I can." She said to Hotch who nodded.

"We don't have anything urgent. You and Reid are free to go when you're finished."

"Thanks…" Reid said.

"So what are you are you going to do with your time off?" Morgan asked over a smile and twinkling eyes.

"We're going to play monopoly." JJ said.

"I'm going to miss your smart mouth." Morgan complained loudly.

"Oh poor baby…" JJ said sweetly. "You'll get over it."

Emily burst out laughing with Rossi and Garcia. "You better give it up Morgan," Emily said. "She got you."

Morgan dropped down in his chair and turned his eyes on Garcia. "Why aren't you defending your man baby-girl?"

"You're on your own handsome. I have a wedding to plan."

"JJ…" Reid pleaded.

She winked at him and left the bullpen with Garcia hot on her heels.

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"JJ, where are you?"

Reid padded into their bedroom to find his new fiancé taking off her dark blue heels. "Hey," she said, rolling her shoulders.

He carried two plates with slices of cheesecake from the local bakery that he adored. "I brought you some cheesecake." He offered.

"I'm tired Spence. I just want to go to sleep." She said unbuttoning her white blouse.

"Oh… Well I'll just take this back to kitchen."

She finished undressing trying not to think about the disappointment in his eyes. She crawled into bed after pulling on her oldest and most ragged pair of sleep pants and a very old and faded pink tee shirt she'd worn in college.

She'd turned off her lamp and pulled the covers up to her chin by the time Spencer came back from the kitchen. Her eyes were closed so she couldn't see him, but she felt him standing there for a long time staring at her. Just as she was about to say something, she heard him leave the room. He didn't come back for a long time and when he did, he was very quiet. He got into bed and turned away from her. The resulting silence was so loud it was nearly deafening.

The bed jostled slightly as he turned over and touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry JJ."

"I don't want to talk about it Spencer. I don't want to say something we'll both regret."

"Alright…" She felt him shift again and for the first time in many months, she tried to go to sleep without his arms around her.

His phone beeped sometime later and she sighed softly in regret and some relief.

"Yeah…" He said. "Oh my God… All right, I'll be there as fast as I can. Yeah… No, its okay she'll understand Hotch."

She heard his phone slap shut as if by an angry and irritated hand. "JJ," He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I have to go. There's a missing five year old girl in Charleston."

"Okay…"

His light switched on throwing his shadow across the wall as he climbed out of bed. "I'll call you tomorrow morning." He said.

"Spence…" She flipped over to see he'd pulled off his sleep pants. "Wait, please…" She slipped out of bed. "I said I was sorry." She said raising her voice a little. "You're the one that had to propose in front of everyone including Strauss. Do you get how embarrassing that was?"

He yanked away from her and went to their dresser for a clean pair of boxers. "I told you I was sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'd planned to ask you after work, but then Strauss came in and I was so angry with her for not fighting for you. I lost my head." He shouted.

"Don't yell at me Spencer Reid. I'm not the one that humiliated you in front of everyone just to get back at the boss."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. You were the one that acted do happy a few hours ago. If you're so embarrassed what was that about."

"I was playing along. I didn't want to ruin my last day with a fight." She snapped.

He pulled on a pair of cords and reached in the closet for a white shirt. "I don't have time for this JJ. I said I'm sorry and I meant it." He said in calmer tone, too calm.

"I know you do Spencer, but I -"

"Look, maybe it's a good thing for us to spend a couple of days apart." He said as he knotted his tie. "I need time to get used to you not part of the team and you need to make a clean break from the team."

She heard tears in his voice like the tears in his voice when she'd come out to the bullpen two nights ago and told them she had to leave.

"I never wanted this, but it's done. You need to deal with it." She said as sternly as she could, hoping that the tears threatening wouldn't begin falling.

"I screwed up JJ." He said as he left the room. "I also apologized. It's up to you if you're going to accept it or not." He said over his shoulder and then he was gone into the night, leaving her staring at the new ring on her finger and wondering what the hell just happened.


	3. Sex and Pizza

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Sex and Pizza_**

The door to the house looked very unyielding in the low light reflecting from the street. He stood there staring at it, wondering if he should just turn around and leave. It was not his fault that she had lost her temper. He hadn't done anything wrong. He squared his shoulders and put his hand on the doorknob.

The living room was dark but for one lamp in the corner that burned low enough so that the room fell half into shadow. "JJ…" He called out from habit more than any affection.

"In the kitchen," she said.

He dropped his bag on the entryway table and went to the kitchen. His heart, which normally sang at the sound of her voice, beat hard for another reason. It had been the longest three days of his life on this case. He'd barely been able to concentrate on work, nearly missing the vital clue to finding the missing girl.

"Hi," she said nervously.

She stood in the middle of the kitchen looking beautiful and afraid in a new pair of blue jeans and a dark red tank top.

"Hi," he said.

She sighed. "I'm sorry for the other night."

"Are you?"

She stepped forward and he stepped back. "Yes, I'm sorry. I haven't slept since you left Spence."

"Don't call me that." Reid snapped.

He watched her beautiful face pale and her eyes drop to the floor.

"You don't get to butter me up with that name." He continued. "You say you haven't slept." He went on relentlessly. "Well, I haven't closed my eyes in three days. I'm exhausted and disgusted with my job and my life that's lost its magic because you aren't there."

"I'm sorry."

He found he couldn't stop his feet from striding forward or his hand from grabbing her shoulders. "I love you more than anything in this world, except for my mother, and you treat me like I -"

She reached up and framed his face with her hands. The touch of her soft skin on his cheeks sent his heart racing into overdrive. He watched her eyes move closer to him as though it were slow motion. Then her lips met his and his blood fired hot in passion rather than anger. His brain and common sense lost the battle with his overtaxed emotions and his hormones.

Her mouth greedily devoured his until he couldn't breathe anymore and had to pull away. She stared at him, her breasts heaving with pent up emotion. "Spencer…"

He pulled her back into his arms, his hands found their way to her jeans clad bottom. He worked his tongue along the edge of her jaw and she gasped aloud. He buried his hands in her long golden hair pulling it up so that he could breathe in the scent of jasmine that always surrounded her.

She licked the outer edge of his ear and he groaned. The pressure in his slacks increased to the point of near pain. He picked her up and carried her to the counter top.

"Spencer… I don't think -"

He decided not to listen to her voice or the voice in his head that told him this was the least opportune time for sex. He should be talking not pawing at her like a randy teenager.

"Shh…" He said tracing one long finger down her face. "I don't want to talk."

Her lovely eyes, almost black with passion wouldn't leave his face as he pulled off her tank to reveal her bare breasts. His hands, very fond of her bosom, stroked them until the nipples rose up hard and turgid under his fingers.

She writhed and moaned under his touch. He pulled the zipper on her jeans, lifting her hips so that he could pull them off.

"You have too many clothes on," she breathed, as he took in the red thong she wore.

"Why don't you help me with that?"

She began sucking on his Adam's apple while her fingers lowered the zipper on his pants. She pushed her hands into his boxers sliding them to the floor. One hand closed over his throbbing erection and stroked him. Waves of pleasure nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Slow down," he hitched out his breath pushing her hand away.

He rid her of her thong and pulled her up close so that her legs wrapped around him. He drove into her pumping his hips like a piston. He covered her mouth with his lips so that her moans were swallowed as though they'd never left her lungs.

It was over much faster than he wanted, but his body wouldn't let him hold back after JJ cried out and tightened around him. He let the orgasm take him so high he almost lost his hold on the world and JJ. He opened his eyes moments later to shaking legs and heaving breaths.

"Spencer?"

He could see the question in her eyes that he didn't know how to answer, because he was supposed to be angry. He stepped out of his pants, picked them up and left the kitchen. He decided a shower to cool off, and some distance might be the best thing at that moment.

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She pulled on one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers. The doorbell rang just as the shower turned off. She jumped in surprise and then remembered the food she ordered. The young man at the door goggled at her dress as he handed her a large pizza, cheese bread and a liter of soda.

"Thanks…" She shut the door on his leer and took the food to the kitchen.

Reid entered the kitchen in a pair of his favorite sleep pants and a dark blue tee shirt that read Comic-Con 2000 across the front in gold letters.

"What's all this?" He asked opening the pizza box. "Sweet…" He exclaimed happily, pulling a slice free from the rest of the pie.

"It's your favorite. Garcia called me as soon as you were on the ground. I called for delivery and here we are. It's a good thing the delivery guy didn't get here ten minutes earlier."

She smiled to see his blush. "Reminds me of that first time we had sex on the counter."

Reid rolled his eyes. "You mean the second time we had sex before we even discussed dating." He reminded her.

"I remember that you were so freaked out afterward. You thought sex on the counter was totally unhygienic."

"Very funny," but he couldn't look her in the eye.

She pulled some of the cheese bread free of the paper bag. "Why do we always give in to lust when we're mad?" She asked him.

"Often when people are dealing with intense emotions in a relationship, it leads to sex. The release of hormones during climax can relieve stress, or pain or -"

"Really?" She interrupted, while grabbing her own slice of pizza.

"JJ!"

She bit into Reid's favorite super supreme combination pizza and chewed for a minute. "I didn't mean for you to come in here and this to happen. I wanted to talk to you."

"So that's why you ordered all my favorite stuff." He opened and poured out the soda into waiting glasses.

"It was a gesture of goodwill."

"You are the diplomat." He said.

"I really am sorry Spence. I had a lot of time to think about what I said the other night." She reached over and took one of his hands. "I'm not embarrassed by you. I want to marry you. In fact, I think what you did to Strauss was awesome."

"Then why -"

She put her hand up to his mouth. "I was afraid." She said softly.

He put down the half-eaten pizza and touched her face. "I don't understand."

"We've been through so much, your kidnapping, the Dilaudid, Gideon leaving, your shooting. It's like we're in the middle of some soap opera or television drama where the writers have to keep the popular couple apart or unhappy because it's more fun that way."

He stared at her like she was speaking Arabic.

"I just mean that now I have another job. Our lives are separate from the BAU. Everyone knows about us now."

"Oh, so you liked the secrecy and now that we're outed you feel cheated." He said logically.

It was her turn to blush bright red. "That's not true." She protested.

"Yes it is." He argued calmly. "You think we'll lose our spark now that we don't have to keep a huge secret."

"Spencer Reid!"

"We've been together for three years." He said pulling more cheese bread from the bag. "I know how you think."

She ripped at the paper bag that held the rest of the cheese bread. She couldn't look up at him because he was right. "Okay, I admit it. Are you happy?"

"No, I'm not happy. How can I be happy when you're so stressed over something that's not going to happen?"

She stood up and climbed into his lap. "How do you know?"

"Because I'm not going to let it, I love you JJ. It's not because we're star crossed and doomed to failure. If I believe that, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me."

She felt something that had lived like a rock in her chest burst apart. "I'm sorry I messed it up for you."

He smirked. "Why don't I tell you what you can do to make it up to me?"

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

He whispered in her ear.

"Okay, but we're going need your hand cuffs." She advised.


	4. Nice Balls

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Nice Balls_**

JJ shut the door to the bathroom as quietly as she could and tiptoed back to their bedroom. The low grey dawn of autumn was just beginning to seep into the room as she crawled back into bed.

"You okay," Spencer asked sleepily.

She slid over and put her head on his chest. "Go back to sleep baby."

"Kay…"

She tightened her grip around his waist as he fell back into the arms of Morpheus. At least he could sleep again, while she wondered just what she was going to do.

_You promised him no secrets. _

The voice of reason in her head reminded her of the day she'd tried to confront him about his attitude. She just didn't realize it would be dangerous intravenous drugs.

It was just after a case in New Orleans that threatened to change things forever. She'd flirted shamelessly with a cute detective hoping Spencer would notice and his jealousy would give her the opening she needed to figure out where they were going. They'd slept together once and she'd laid down the law that they could only be friends. Oh, how she'd tried to keep that law, but working with him everyday hadn't been easy and then he'd been kidnapped and literally died in front of her. Those minutes that he'd laid still and white on the floor of that shack were the longest few minutes of her life. Then he was struggling and she'd given an LEO from New Orleans her phone number out of irritation with his attitude.

Two days later after telling the detective that she'd made a mistake giving him that number, she's gone to confront Spencer. At first, he didn't answer the door when she knocked, but she refused to leave even when a neighbor next to him threatened to call the police. She'd simply showed her badge to the middle-aged man in boxer shorts and nothing else.

_When Spencer had finally answered the door, he'd looked terrible. He wore a ratty old brown robe over a white tee shirt with coffee stains on the front and a pair of boxers. He'd let her in without a word except to tell her to sit down. _

"_Don't take that tone with me Reid." _

"_What tone? You come here and bang on my door till I let you into my house." _

_He swept an empty pizza box off the sofa and sat down with a recalcitrant thud. _

"_I wanted to talk to you about New Orleans." She said, amazed that her hands had begun to shake. _

_His hair stood up in clumps around his head. The circles around his eyes were so deep it was like they were about to sink into the back of his skull. He'd lost some weight. How had that escaped her notice? Because she'd been, too busy dealing with her own nightmares of snarling dogs and blood. _

"_You want to talk about New Orleans." He repeated snidely._

"_Yeah… You missed a flight with Morgan and Emily and I -" _

"_I talked to Gideon about that. It's none of your business. I'm fine." _

"_You're not fine. You look like hell." She blurted out. _

"_Thanks…" He answered sarcastically. "Now that you've commented on my general appearance, why don't you get the fuck out of my home and leave me alone." _

_She reared back in surprise at his tone and his words. He'd never spoken like that to any of them._

"_It was a mistake for me to come here. I'm sorry." She left his apartment without looking back because tears had sprung up in her eyes and she didn't want him to see them. _

JJ sat up so she could see his face. More had changed in the last three years than the circles under his eyes and the length of his hair. He'd become more comfortable in his own skin and in his role as an experienced profiler. His lovemaking skills had certainly improved, she thought with a grin. She'd never been with someone so kind, thoughtful and gentle. Most of her lovers were only concerned with their own pleasure. Spence wasn't like that. He seemed to find her pleasure the most arousing aspect of their relationship.

She got out of bed again, even though she wanted to stay there. It was Friday and she had to go to work. Spence had the day off after a very tough case. Maybe she'd be able to sneak out a few hours early. She needed to speak to Spencer and she couldn't wait much longer.

CMCMCMCM

Reid stretched his arms over his head and stared at the blank page on his computer. The paper he was supposed to be writing for his philosophy class wouldn't come together in his mind. For the first time he knew what Rossi meant when he talked about writer's block.

He stood up and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. The sun was long past midday so the rays almost blinded him as he turned to the coffee maker. He pulled the blinds and sighed. Something was bothering JJ again. Nearly two weeks had passed since their last fight over her leaving and everything had been great. Now she had some problem and she wasn't talking about it.

"Maybe it's something at work and she can't talk about it. You know what it's like to have a problem at work and not be able to talk about it." He said aloud to the empty kitchen as he poured out his coffee.

He nodded to himself and began adding his usual four teaspoons of sugar to his cup. He had to get used to the idea that they were like other couples now. They had separate lives outside of their home. It would take some adjustment for both of them.

He took his coffee cup back to the computer and sat down. Maybe JJ would like it if he did something romantic for the weekend. He put his hand under his chin, and his elbow on the desk, and tried to think of something he could do that she would like. He closed his eyes and pulled up her face from that morning. She'd looked so tired and stressed. He smiled… He knew exactly what to do, but he'd need a friend's help.

CMCMCMCM

JJ shut the door behind her and flipped on the light to the living room, which was empty. Odd… Spence had taken to waiting there if he didn't have a case and he got home first. She'd started to get used to him being there with a smile and coffee or a glass of white wine for her.

"Hey Spence…" She called.

"In here," He called back from the bedroom.

She left her bag on the entryway table and her coat in the closet as she moved through the house to their room. A steady light burned through the open door as she approached. Inside Spence stood with a glass of wine in his hand and single pink rose in the other hand. He wore a pair of boxers she'd bought for him as a joke for last Christmas. The green shorts had three colorful ornaments across the front and written above them: Nice Balls.

She immediately laughed at the sight of the joke boxers. Some of the stress over the news she had to share with him left her shoulders.

"Hi…" He said going pink at her adoring smile.

"Hi there… Why are you wearing those of your own free will?" She asked taking the wine and the rose.

She put them on the dresser and turned to face him again. The shirt he wore open over his boxers matched their color and seemed to make his doe eyes sparkle in the low light.

He drew in a deep breath and stepped forward to hold her close in his arms. "I just want you to know that I'm not profiling you, but I know that you've been stressed or worried about something. If you want to tell me, I'm listening. If you don't want to tell me, that's okay too."

She felt her heat rate pick up and race because she'd known that he would sense her worry. She should've come clean when she first suspected, but with all that had happened to them in the last couple of weeks. She took his hand and led him over to the bed.

"I do have a secret." She admitted.

She held his hand to her heart and breathed in a few times. "You don't have to do this." He said softly, touching her hair.

"Yes I do because it concerns both of us."

"Okay," He pulled her in close and hugged her to his bare chest. "It's going to be fine."

"I hope you'll still think that when you hear what I have to tell you." She said.

"You're scaring me JJ."

She pulled away and looked up at his face. "I'm pregnant Spence."

She nearly laughed at the utter shock on his face and the fact that this clearly wasn't what he expected. He simply stared at her for a long time and then said in the squeaky voice she loved. "Are you sure?"

"Yes… I went to the doctor two days ago and she confirmed it. You were away on that case and I didn't know how to tell you. Are you mad?"

He hugged her close and hard. "Of course I'm not mad at you. I'm just surprised."

"Really…" She choked on the tears that were filling her eyes and throat.

He lifted her face to look at him. "I won't say I'm not freaked out or scared, but I'm very happy at the same time. I love you JJ. I want you to have my baby more than anything."

She kissed him softly, moving her lips across his mouth like a gentle breeze in springtime. He opened for her accepting her questing tongue like a gift. Her hands reached up and tangled as deep as they could into his short hair. His hands slid across the material of her pink shirt ruffling it and pulling it from its place tucked into her skirt.

She pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. He immediately slipped away from her and back up against the headboard, "Um… JJ, I don't think this is a good idea. You're pregnant and -"

She smiled dangerously at him. "I'm not breakable now because I'm pregnant Spence."

"But -"

She tugged on his boxers. "You do have nice balls Spence. I want to see them."

He went crimson. "JJ I -"

"Shut up and touch me." She ordered.

He reached up with trembling fingers and unbuttoned her shirt. He pushed the silky fabric from her shoulders and let it fall. Her breasts, hidden from view by her bra, heaved slightly as she breathed. She bent down and began feathering kisses down his chest to the waistband of his boxers. He shivered and shrugged out of the unbuttoned dress shirt he wore.

"JJ" He reached up and fumbled at the clasp of her bra as she tugged again at his boxers.

"You talk too much." She informed him as she shimmied out of her skirt and black lace panties she wore. "I much prefer it when your mouth's doing something other than talking." She breathed as his fingers skipped over her breasts.

He nodded and replaced his hands with his mouth as she straddled him again, her wet heat tantalizingly close to his straining erection.

He reached out and stopped her, touching her face with both of his sculpted hands. He stared into her eyes and she went pink. "What are you looking for when you stare at me like that?" She asked.

"You're so beautiful. I can't believe you love me." He answered honestly.

She stroked his face with her fingers, "Is that what you think, that someday I'll come to my sensed and not love you anymore?"

He nodded hesitantly. "I can't help it. No one but my mom's ever really loved me but you. I guess I think sometimes that I'm just lucky and that luck will run out someday. I know it's stupid…"

She shushed him with a kiss. "I'm never going to leave or stop loving you for the rest of my life." She shifted, engulfed him in her heat and began to sway over him like a sinuous and beautiful snake.

She raised up and down, his hips thrust up to meet her with aching slowness until she couldn't hold back her cries. She clenched around him and he groaned. His hands clamped on her waist as he thrust up twice then release emptying into her with another loud cry.

She slid down to his chest breathing hard. His hand found her hair and stroked it as they began to come down from their joining.

"I'm sorry for my stupid doubts." He finally managed to say.

"It's okay Spence. I understand more than you think. Sometimes I look at you and I can't believe you love me."

He stared up in stunned disbelief. "You're the most beautiful, strongest, most wonderful woman in the world. Of course I love you."

"Then believe that I find you the most attractive, sweetest and loving man I know."

He smiled. "Okay no more doubts. I promise." He crossed his heart like a little kid and she laughed.

She moved away from him to climb into bed. He followed and turned before she could crawl into his arms. He slid down and put his face near her flat abdomen. He kissed her stomach and said. "Hi little one. I'm your daddy. Mommy just told me about you but I already love you very much. I'm always going to be here, and I can't wait for you to come out so we can meet you. You don't have to worry about anything but getting strong and big so you can be born."

"See…" JJ said through tears. "How can I not love you more than anyone else in the world, except for the baby of course?" She teased.

"I love you both." He kissed her belly then slid up to kiss her mouth.

Suddenly, he jumped away from her and pulled open the drawer in his night table. He pulled out an envelope and handed to her. "I almost forgot."

She opened it and squealed. "Oh Spence… How did you do this?"

"Garcia…" He said simply.

"Thank you." She threw her arms around him and kissed him until he couldn't breathe.

"You deserve a day at the spa, especially now that you're pregnant." He rubbed her belly.

"I'm going to call Garcia and Emily." She planned. "We'll have a girls' day out."

He winced and she laughed. "Don't look so frightened Spence. We'll behave."

He lay back on his pillow. "I'm going to live in denial until it's over." He said.

"Smart man."

She shut out the light and snuggled into his arms. She had the best man in the world and his baby. Everything else was just icing on the cake.


	5. Epilogue

**_Disclaimer: See my profile_**

**_Epilogue_**

JJ opened her eyes to quiet and low, yellow light. She turned over to see light from the hallway seeping into the room from under the bedroom door. Spencer had disappeared from the room she noticed. She flicked her eyes to the baby monitor, which sat silent on her night table. If the baby had cried, she hadn't heard. She threw off the covers and grabbed her robe.

A few creaks and pops of the settling house broke the quiet as she made her way to the nursery. The door stood open when she arrived, but the crib was empty of its usual occupant. She continued down the stairs to the basement they'd just finished two weeks ago. Her feet whispered over thick silvery-blue carpet and around the corner to the living area.

Spence perched on the royal blue leather sofa with their baby girl in his arms. He didn't seem to hear or see JJ as she watched him feed their baby her bottle. He spoke to her very seriously as he had every night, ever since he'd found out about the baby.

"You're so beautiful." He said softly. "Almost as pretty as your mom, she's the greatest, but then you already know that." He told the four-month-old Camille. "She loves you so much."

Tears welled up in JJ's eyes as she watched him rock Camille. The little sucking sounds her daughter made arrowed straight into her heart, as did the things Spencer said.

"We're going to have so much fun together. We'll read books, and do magic. Your mom will teach you how to play soccer and how to kick ass."

JJ couldn't help it. She laughed. Spencer jumped in surprise. He looked up and smiled. "I didn't hear you come down.

"I can see that. Do you think you should teach our daughter words like 'ass?' JJ asked.

He flushed pink. "I want her to be just like her mother, strong and beautiful, and brilliant at dealing with difficult people."

JJ joined him on the couch as Camille finished her bottle. She took the baby from Spencer and patted her gently on the back.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." She said waggling her eyebrows.

"Do you know what I was thinking about before you came in?" He asked her.

"No."

"I was thinking about the day we finally went out on a real date."

Camille burped and JJ laughed. "Oh… That was the happiest day of my life up to that moment."

Spencer reached out and stroked a finger down Camille's back as she lay with her head on her mother's shoulder. "I was so happy that day and mad at myself at the same time."

JJ shifted their daughter so that Camille lay in her arms, her eyes closing in sleep. "Why were you mad at yourself? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should've been the one to ask you out, especially after you helped me get through withdrawal. You could've lost your job for helping me. Instead, you're the one that asked me out."

"I was in love with you even if I didn't know it consciously. It's why I did what I did. I couldn't stand the thought of you getting fired or overdosing."

"I'm sorry I caused you so much stress and pain." He said shifting a bit on the couch so that the leather creaked.

"Why are you apologizing?" She demanded softly. "I'm the one that made you wait for two years. I often wonder why you didn't tell me to get lost when I finally asked you out."

"I loved you." He said simply, his eyes glued on Camille.

"Loved?" She teased.

"You know what I mean." He said, rolling his eyes.

She slid over so that he could put his arm around her shoulders. He reached forward and touched Camille's blond curls.

"Thank you for putting up with me and forgiving me." JJ said.

"Thank you for giving me a beautiful little girl that looks just like her mother." He responded.

"I think she's almost out." JJ said. "Want to put her down and go fool around?"

"You have such a way with words." Spencer laughed as they stood up with Camille.

"I better, it's my job." She retorted.

"I'm not interested in words." Spencer said as she followed him up the stairs.

"I'm glad, because words are overrated."

As she watched Spencer put Camille in her crib, the sudden realization hit her, that her life was perfect. It wasn't what she'd pictured six years ago, but it was perfect.

**_THE END_**


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